Just adopt

Yesterday I had a meeting with a work colleague. This male colleague has been through the whole IVF process due to male factor. They had three IVF attempts of which one was successful, their son is now 5 1/2 years old.

After the meeting we got talking and the subject inevitably went to family and children. They have recently been accepted by the adoption panel and are now awaiting a match with a child. I started to tell him a bit more than I should have about where we are at the moment and where we are heading. I wasn't overly comfortable with sharing this information with him however, I wanted to get some information out of him as he lives in the same county as us and they were lucky enough to get two IVF attempts on the NHS. He gave me some good advice on where to go, if and when, we have to choose a clinic.

I told him that I had just had a procedure which we were hoping was going to improve our chances of conceiving naturally but, if not, we would be referred for assisted conception. That was when he gave the helpful advice. I then said that I wasn't sure whether we would get two attempts at IVF on the NHS but that we would definitely have two attempts and then we would walk away. His response was that if it didn't work then we could just adopt. He said that. Somebody who has been through this IF crap, who has been through IVF and has had to contend with it not working. I couldn't believe that this person had just said those words to me like it was OK that we may not be able to conceive our own child. I responded by telling him that adoption is not something that appeals to me, at this stage, but that it may be something that we would consider once we had been through the assisted conception stage. He said that we should consider adopting because there is nothing more rewarding, enjoyable and fun then having a little person in your life! Arsehole!