2008

I have been trying hard not to think about what didn't happen for us in 2008, or to even think ahead and to start hoping what could happen for us in 2009 but it is difficult, so what the hell.

In 2008 we hoped to achieve two things, those two things were to sell our house and start a family. We weren't successful with either and, in the end, both made 2008 quite a depressing year. I really don't want to be singing from the same hymn sheet in 2009 as, to be honest with you, even I am getting bored with them.

In terms of IF, 2008 has been fairly productive. In January I started going for blood tests and since those blood tests I have had a HSG and a laparoscopy. Fast forward to January 2009 and we are in a different place, we've definitely travelled a few steps up the ladder but there is still a long way to go until we reach the top. Our next appointment is in June, I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that in May 2009 we will have been ttc for three years.

Now the house. Our house is still on the market (yes, we've decided to leave it on even with the credit crunch because we are that miserable living there) but, unsurprisingly we have had no interest for quite a few months. The value of our property is dropping fast so selling it will soon no longer be an option. March 2009 will mark the two year anniversary of us trying to sell our house.

Both of the above are out of our control and that is probably the most frustrating thing of all. We can't force anybody to buy our house and we really can't do any more than what we already are doing when it comes to ttc.

Now, this is where we enter a bit of a dilemma. We don't know what to do for the best. We are in the fortunate position to be able to move without selling our house. My husband can have a house as part of his job and, at this moment in time, we are very tempted to take it and rent our house out. The only thing is that I don't like the idea of somebody else living in the house that we have spent time and money on. The house that we could have is bigger than ours and is in a fantastic location but there are no creature comforts. The kitchen and bathroom are basic and there is no en suite but, there is an open fire, it would save us a bit of money and it would give us a change that we so desperately need.

Are we mad for not jumping at the chance? I often think so but then when I really think about moving back into tied accommodation I get a pang of sadness. I don't like where our house is situated and I don't like the fact that there are a few jobs still to do around the house but, I do love the house and over the years D and I have made it our home.