Turning a corner

After talking to a couple of people I have come to realise that, over the past few weeks, I have been suffering from anxiety and possibly a bit of depression. I hadn’t really been all that aware that I was letting things get to me quite as much as they were.

I think last weekend was the turning point. Following the last post, where I laid on the table my concerns about assisted conception (AS), I have tried to approach our IF from a different angle. Whilst it is extremely unlikely that we will not go down the route of AC, as my desire for a family is far greater than any fear that I may have about AC, I am beginning to think beyond all this and to the life that we may end up living. I’m sure that our life, after ttc, will have it moments but I am in no doubt that we will accept the outcome. I know that there is a life for us beyond this and whilst I will continue to document our journey I feel like I need to re-adjust my focus from the ‘what if’ scenario to the living for now. I have spent three years of my life obsessing about having a family so now I think it is time to focus on something else, and that something else is the something that has often been neglected in all of this, us.

I’m shocked at how positive I sound in this post, I only hope that this mood remains for as long as the depressive state that has recently been ruling the roost.

The test for all of this will be this weekend as I am meeting up with three university friends (two of which are seven months pregnant) and one that is trying for baby number two. The timing of the meeting is rotten as I will have PMT but I am determined not to let any of this get to me although the proof will be in the post I write next week!