*Hope*

Yes, it's that all important tww, the one where hope starts to invade your life. I am currently on CD23 which means that I am likely to start spotting any day now. In the good old days, when periods/cycles didn't mean jack shit, my periods would be as good as gold. NOW....NOW I have horrendous pre-menstrual symptoms, symptoms that are shockingly close to early pregnancy symptoms (and yes, they still get me every month, even though I KNOW there is no chance of them actually being eary pregnancy symptoms).

I hate who I am at the moment. Hate it, but then I suppose that is because I am due on so PMT is currently having its monthly duel with hope.

I have a good weekend lined up so I could really do without it being CD23. I'm seeing three people that I haven't seen in a long time and I am really looking forward to it. BUT, and that is a big BUT, I am worried that I am going to sink in to my usual depression at this time, especially as they all have the one thing that I crave so much for. What if that grotesque thing called jealousy comes along and attacks either the PMT or hope. I can't cope with all three, it's bad enough with two.