Limbo

I am getting excited for the two bloggers who are due to give birth to their babies any day now. I think it is fantastic that they are this close to fulfilling their dream after experiencing loss. They give you hope that it can happen.

I also feel great sadness for those that have been through so many assisted cycles and are still unable to hold their baby in their arms. Life is so unfair, who gets to decide that these people cannot have a baby? Why should some people struggle when others shell them like peas?

I currently feel like I am in limbo, I don't fit into either of the above as, although I have been trying for two years, I have not had any treatment to try and get pregnant. The doctor is in the process of referring me on to the more invasive tests at the hospital and then the possibility of treatment BUT I still hope deep down that it won't come to that, that we will achieve a pregnancy the good old fashion way.

We have been using the Clear.blue fertility monitor for 6 consecutive cycles now and there has been no pregnancy. This fills me with fear as we are giving it the best possible chance and it is still not happening. I am eager to move on to the next step now, although I am also scared, what if they find something terrible wrong with me? What if we have some assistance with this conceiving crap and it doesn't work? I admire all the women who have been through IVF again and again. They are so strong, because they are able to pick themselves up and push themselves back into it full throttle. I really hope I don't have to go through that but if I do I only hope that I have as much courage and strength as the women whose blogs I read.