Continuous PMT

Why doesn't my desire for a baby EVER go away?! It needs to disappear so that I can have a surprise pregnancy and be all "oh I didn't see that coming". It has been two years now, two sodding years (sorry, do I keep going on about that?!) and although I am only in the first throws of ttc compared to the old timers I am FED UP. I WANT a baby and I WANT one now!

Anyway, now that I have that off my chest, back to some form of sanity. I am on CD 13, I have two bars on my fertility monitor and I am expecting to see three bars tomorrow. Let's see if my body plays ball and stays consistent. I hate this time because your whole thought process is on having sex - not because it is fun - but because it is a necessity, and then once this period is over with you move on to the even more dreaded 2WW which is followed by the crap that is AF. Oh how I HATE the female reproductive system, I HATE it. I used to just hate periods but now it is so much more, in fact it is the whole bloody cycle.

Good days? What good days? Maybe there are a couple of positive days when you have finished the period from hell (a whole 7 days of bleeding) and you start to think that maybe, just maybe this could be THE month, THE one, YOUR time. I think that lasts for about 5 days max and then you start to get the negativity which follows that positivity, the negativity which says that the fact that you have simply THOUGHT about it means that it is not going to happen. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me something else to think about. Maybe a house sale would give me something to think about, or is that asking too much?