This month was tough - probably one of the hardest I have had in a long time. I think it was the shock of the consultation, the stress from reading information about bad morphology, and PMT. I was really beginning to think that I wasn't going to come out of this one, I had visions of being carted off to the nut home.
Today is the first day in almost 2 weeks that I haven't broken down in tears. I'm feeling a bit more positive again, even with it looking like our November appointment at the infertility clinic may have to be postponed until December because of this bloody HSG appointment.
I have just had a conversation with the receptionist at the hospital. I was hoping that there had been a cancellation or a new set of appointments organised but unfortunately there hasn't. I explained about my appointment at the infertility clinic in November and that if I hadn't had the HSG I would have to postpone that appointment and the very nice lady said that she would take my telephone number and write a note on the diary to say that I needed to be booked in, if another date became available, before 11 November.
I don't hold out much hope but, to be honest with you, I am not overly bothered. I'm starting to think, what's another month. We can wait. See what I mean about the positivity?!
The weekend was good. There were no other pregnancy announcements, although I got to listen to my friend, who is feeling jealous of our other friends (one confirmed pregnancy, one not confirmed although suspected). She said that she realises how I must have felt when they all announced their first pregnancies (within two months of each other) however, she then continued with how worried she is that they may not be able to conceive again and how frustrated she gets every month. In my head I was saying "welcome to my world," there was no point saying it out loud because fertiles don't really listen and they certainly don't understand.
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2 comments:
Glad you are feeling happier, though pisser about the HSG.
And about your friend, I do feel that some people think once they have paid lip service saying how sorry they feel for you they should realise that doesn't give them carte blanche to then carry on moaning.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting.
I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time at the moment. All these various tests and procedures are difficult enough in themselves, without the added pressure of NHS waiting lists/bureaucratic inefficiencies. I really hope that you can have the HSG before your first appointment at the infertility clinic.
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