So much to say

Firstly, I feel I need to clarify what I actually meant in my last post which, on reading now, I realise sounds a bit dodgy. The man did only appear at night because he was in my dream. The dream was so vivid that it took me awhile to get it / him out of my mind hence the mention in the post.

OK, so now to the hospital appointment. We had convinced ourselves that it would be an uneventful 20 minute appointment where they would ask us some questions and then decide what tests I would require. Our appointment actually lasted an hour and 45 minutes.

My next appointment is for a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which will be at the beginning of October. We also have an appointment booked for 11 November to discuss the results of the HSG and, depending on the results, where to go from there.

The doctor / registrar informed us that if my tubes are OK they probably won't bother to do a Laparoscopy which is fine by me. If my tubes are OK we will be referred to a clinic to pursue assisted conception. She then said that we wouldn't get NHS funding for this which is a total contradiction to what we have been told by our doctor and from documents that I have found on the Internet. When I said that we had been informed that our County does offer fertility traeatment on the NHS and that we had been told we meet the criteria she didn't say anything and carried on talking about choosing a clinic. I'll push that point at my next appointment in November. She either doesn't know (the infertility clinic only meet once a month so she may not have been local) or she was trying to brush us off.

Now for the big slap in the face - the morphology concerns raised, but played down, by the doctor when D did his SA are worse than we thought. The Dr told us that D's results showed 2% on his original SA and 4% on his second. This means that only 4% are of a normal shape / size and it is only this 4% that have a chance of cracking an egg. When I asked her outright whether this could be the cause of our infertility (felt like shit asking it but I just wanted some straight answers) she said yes it could be the reason but they had to check my tubes. So, went home and opened one of my books on IF and realised that things are actually worse than we thought. The book states that a result of 15% or above is fine, anything under 15% can cause sub-fertility and under 5% is a severe problem, so basically we are fucked.

I just feel so numb.