I've not blogged since the transfer because I have been trying to keep my mind off the whole 2ww thing! I know, better said than done. The first few days of the wait were OK, I was still smugly reeling in the glory of a smooth transfer with a grade A blastocyst. This week, or to be more precise, the 6th day of the 2ww (so not even into the 2nd week) has been tough. It's the period cramps that have totally thrown me. I was expecting them because I have read everywhere that they happen but when I was woken by them last night I spent a restless night convinced that we have reached the end of this IVF journey.
My official test date is still a week away but I am planning on testing at the weekend (if I get there before my period arrives). I need to know before I go back to work, I just can't face testing on the morning when I have to go into work and act like everything is OK.
Today really is the first day that I have felt like crying. Throughout this IVF there have been no emotional break downs but I have a feeling that this is all about to change. I think the hardest part of all this is the feeling that I have let D down. Everything was perfect, the sperm, the eggs, the fertilisation report and the quality of the final three embryos. The final stumbling block is down to me and my body.
Bloody hell, I just feel so deflated today.
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The secret diary of an infertile
- Secret D
- Growing bored of this IF malarky and I am only just getting started....
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5 comments:
but see, the cramps with no period the next day were how i knew i was pregnant the first time! this is a good sign :)
especially if they were bad enough to wake you and didn't produce anything this morning? chin up, it is looking good for you!
im so worried that since my other embies were crap that this one may have something wrong with it too :( i think there is always something to worry about in this IVF game, but im hopful for you!!
I had cramping in my 2WW and as you know I am now pregnant with twins. Stop doubting that it worked and just enjoy being PUPO. Praying for you!!!
Hang in there!!! I know the cramps can be so disheartening, especially when they feel just like the AF cramps you have had forever, but with IVF those cramps can most definitely be a good thing!! I too had them with both IVF cycles when I got my BFP's, and both times I thought for sure I was out, but here I am, preggers with twins.
Please keep your chin up! Saying many prayers for you=).
When I was pregnant the first time I had awful cramps. Terrible ones that woke me up, so don't worry about that.
Try not to worry and be sure to post if you POAS ~ I can't wait to hear about those two lines :)
Sounds like there are lots of positive stories about cramping at this point. I hope you are another success story.
xx
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