Limbo

They retrieved 10 eggs on Friday. The embryologist asked us whether we wanted to proceed with IVF or ICSI. It felt like the $10 million question. As the husband's sperm was way above the criteria for IVF we agreed to go down the more natural route.

Out of the 10 retrieved, 8 fertilised. The transfer is scheduled for Wednesday (if everything goes to plan). I'll get an update on Monday.

Wednesday seems like such a long way off. I had never thought much about this period, the transitional period. When you think of IVF you think about the first injection, the scans, the development of the follicles, the egg collection, the embryo transfer and then the two week wait. I knew that there would be a period of anxiety over the development and quality of the eggs/sperm/embryos but I never thought that it would leave me feeling so scared or vulnerable. I received a text message from a friend who has been through IVF and, in the text, she says that she found this part of the process the hardest. And it is the hardest because there is no longer anything that you can do, it all depends on the eggs/sperm/embryos as they begin their first fight for survival.