Bored!

There is nothing to report. I don't know what cycle day I am on (I know that I could work it out quite easily but I am trying not to think about it), nothing is happening on the home front and D and I are just plodding along. We did have a huge argument on Monday which resulted in lots of tears. Why did we have an argument? The usual, it always boils down to the baby thing. I am so sick of not being happy that I refuse to let my unhappiness rule. So, as of yesterday I turned a new leaf, I'm not going to think of everything that is shit in my life, I'm not going to beat myself up about the fact that I can't get pregnant, the fact that we can't sell our house or the fact that I am 26.5lbs overweight. Instead, I am going to think of other things, good things.

I know this mood (I'm not going to call it positivity because it isn't) isn't going to last, but for now it is the only thing that I can hold on to. The next couple of months are going to be a holiday from the usual shit, I am going to enjoy the summer and go back to worrying, stressing and trying again in the autumn. A break is just what we need right now - and please, nobody say, "you never know, it may happen when you are on a break because you are both relaxed" because it WON'T so DON'T even go THERE.