In-laws

Sometimes I ask myself what I did in another life to get ILs like mine. I don't ask for much, but a MIL that watches East.enders and occasionally has a glass of wine would be good. My MIL needs to lighten up. She is such hard work. The ILs are small village people who have never stepped out of their comfort zone. They know everybody in the area. My FIL is rude and a complete racist and sexist. My MIL is a supposed christian who doesn't believe in sex or living together before marriage, drinking, women being independent and strong individuals, doesn't really watch TV because she disapproves of most TV programmes, doesn't have any hobbies and is a bit of a manic depressive. My ILs two sons are fucked up. Fucked up beyond belief. The reason they are fucked up....their parents. They both have this amazing guilt thing going on and if they don't see or speak to their parents in a while the guilt takes over. They won't say anything against their parents because of the guilt. I'm not suggesting that they should constantly slag their parents off but they should be able to voice opinions which may differ from that of their parents.

Visiting the ILs is a whole new ball game. When you go to visit them it becomes a marathon. You can't just pop in for a cup of tea, it has to be 8 hours and from the moment you walk in the door you have the FIL commenting on leaving, making you feel guilty. See, there it is, that guilt thing again. Because of the way they are when we go and visit it makes me dread visiting, D is aware of this and tries to put off visiting because he knows how they wind me up. D understands but doesn't understand because if he admits that he understands he will feel guilty. The guilt thing yet again.

It is the MIL birthday next week and she has told son number 1 (that is the first born not the favourite) that she doesn't want anything but, if we feel like we have to give her something then she would prefer money so that she can give it to charity. Now this comment has really got my back up, why doesn't she just let us buy her presents for her to enjoy on her birthday? Why can't her family just be free to buy her something? And who is she to say that she wants money so that she can give it to charity? To me she is suggesting that we should be giving more to charity and I take offence to it. (I know, I know that I am probably reading too much into it but this is exactly how they wind me up).

So, today I have gone out and bought her a present. I have bought her a really cute door stop (fabric cat door stop from L.aura A.shley) it is very cute and I would love to keep it for myself but I won't. I haven't spent a lot of money on her but I have got her something.

Now, the whole birthday thing is quite an issue for me because every birthday I get crap (I know, there I go again with the whole ungrateful thing) and if it isn't crap it is books about Christianity and if it isn't books about that it is crap for the kitchen (plastic cups and trays!!) I am so tempted to tell her not to bother with my birthday next year because really, the only place that benefits from it, is the charity shop! See, I do give to charity and so does she in a roundabout way.

OK, so now I feel guilty for typing this and slagging them off because deep down they aren't bad people, they are just very different people and very set in their ways. Why can't I get over the whole IL thing? Why do I avoid the phone when they call? Why do I argue with D about them? Why do I feel like I am being punished? Why do they make me feel like a 5 year old? One of the things that I was hoping would shift the whole D and me and IL thing was having a family of our own. It would take the pressure off of us and allow them to focus on something else (have I mentioned that MIL seems to be obsessed with me and how much I am like her?!)

There is so much more I could say about them but this post will be the longest post in the world so I am going to have to save it for future rants, I mean posts.