Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Panic

Feeling a bit panicky today as I have let thoughts of 'this may never happen for us' in to my head. Most of the time I am OK but occasionally I'll just let myself think about this never happening for us. I really don't think that I could adopt so the only option we would have is to live childless. My age also makes me panic, I'm 33 and I just get plain scared when I think about how long this could take on the NHS. Why did this have to be so difficult when so many others manage it so easily?

D did his second SA test today, I am so glad that he has got it out of the way. It has been hanging over our heads for three months and now we can move on. D stalled doing both of the SA tests and I think the main reason for this was because he was hoping I would get pregnant which in turn would mean that he wouldn't have to do it! Men!
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2 comments:

Liz said...

I know how you feel. But as soon as I say to anyone else that it might not happen you get the same platitudes that you get after a job interview or exam: "Of courses you'll get it", "You'll be fine" etc etc. Actually no one knows whether you will or not but no one can say that. And the NHS is slow, but at least we are both on the case now in our early 30s rather than really leaving it late.

29 July 2008 at 14:29
Secret D said...

I find it quite funny because those who are in the know no longer say all those positive things (I think even they are beginning to wonder whether it will ever happen)! Still, it was annoying when they did say it. I think people say it to make themselves feel better, they don't want to feel uncomfortable or have to listen to how you really feel.

You're right about the age thing, I would be totally freaking if I was heading to 40 rather than my mid 30s.

30 July 2008 at 04:29

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