Summer cold

I have a summer cold and I blame it completely on Boy.zone. A friend and I went to see Boy.zone a week last Saturday and it absolutely chucked it down and was very cold. Since then I have felt rough and the roughness has now progressed to a full on snotty cold with a very irritating cough.

I am now waiting for my friends to start the ball rolling on the next round of babies. I know for a fact that they are trying and I am expecting an email containing exciting news any day now. My Boy.zone friend has been trying for a couple of months and she had the front to sit there and say that she took it really hard when they didn't succeed on her last cycle. Honestly, what are these people like? I said, multiple that by 26 and welcome to my world! She was talking about how they feel like they are putting their life on hold, not sure whether they will be expecting their second child and I said, trying putting your life on hold for nearly 2.5 years!

I would be so happy with just the one child. I always wanted to have two but now knowing how hard it is to get one I really would be happy if we were only to have one. I so want to feel the joy of finding out that I am pregnant, maintaining that pregnancy, experiencing child birth and the love of having produced a baby. Will I ever experience any of that? I'm now not so sure. I'm pretty sure that we are not going to achieve a successful pregnancy and birth without assistance so I guess I will just have to wait.

Wait/weight - such an annoying fucking word. I hate it. I hate waiting, I have spent all of my 30's waiting for something to happen - waiting for D to say that he wanted to start a family, waiting for a positive pregnancy test, waiting to hear that friends are expecting, waiting to hear news of new arrivals, waiting for somebody to come and buy our house, waiting for doctors appointments, waiting for blood tests, waiting for hospital appointments, waiting for the announcement of expectant mums (round 2). In addition to this I have spent my life putting on and then having to lose weight. It seems that this word, no matter what context it is in, is set to plague me. It definitely is a word that could sum up my life.