Limbo

They retrieved 10 eggs on Friday. The embryologist asked us whether we wanted to proceed with IVF or ICSI. It felt like the $10 million question. As the husband's sperm was way above the criteria for IVF we agreed to go down the more natural route.

Out of the 10 retrieved, 8 fertilised. The transfer is scheduled for Wednesday (if everything goes to plan). I'll get an update on Monday.

Wednesday seems like such a long way off. I had never thought much about this period, the transitional period. When you think of IVF you think about the first injection, the scans, the development of the follicles, the egg collection, the embryo transfer and then the two week wait. I knew that there would be a period of anxiety over the development and quality of the eggs/sperm/embryos but I never thought that it would leave me feeling so scared or vulnerable. I received a text message from a friend who has been through IVF and, in the text, she says that she found this part of the process the hardest. And it is the hardest because there is no longer anything that you can do, it all depends on the eggs/sperm/embryos as they begin their first fight for survival.

Deja vu

Yesterday I was back at the doctors for my day 3 blood test. They are still waiting to hear from the neighbouring PCT as to whether there is money available for IVF. I'm hoping that they will have had a response by the time I go for my day 21 blood test.

At the moment I feel like we are in limbo. I'm currently getting my blood tests done at the doctors (to save money and journey to expensive private clinic) and I also need to get us an appointment at a g.um clinic to get all the STI tests done (currently putting this off because I have a fear that I will discover that I have some awful STI). Where we go from there depends on what the neighbouring PCT says about funding and just how long the waiting list is. If there is funding and the waiting list isn't too long we will wait (yep, yet more waiting) for NHS funding. If there is no funding or the waiting list is mega long we will phone the consultant to get referred. We're hoping that all of the above will give us a few months to save some money for treatment, although I am still looking at going down the egg sharing route.

I'm really stressed today because my dad is at the hospital. His dentist noticed a rash that could be cancerous so he has been referred to the hospital (within two weeks of it being spotted). I spoke to him last night and asked him if he thought that he would get the results today, he said that he hoped so because he couldn't go on for much longer. I really felt for him because he is obviously very worried but I honestly don't think that he will get the results today. Anyway, fingers crossed that everything is OK.

On a lighter note, I'm off to London tomorrow to see T.ake That. I'm very excited. In all the years that I have been a fan I have never seen them in concert. I was an extra in G.ary Barlow's video for Open Road and spoke to and had my picture taken with the man but this is a first for a concert. It'll also be good to catch up with my Uni friends (the two who had babies recently and the one that is now pregnant) and to meet the new additions to their family.