A belated Merry Christmas. Hope you are all having a good break.
Things were hectic here in the build up to Christmas (and still are) as I have a piece of work which needs to be completed by 31 December. I'm supposed to be working on it today but it is already 11.30am and I'm not dressed and haven't even opened the relevant file on my computer. As always I have left things to the last minute but I am relatively confident that it will be in the post by tomorrow afternoon (fingers crossed).
Happy New Year to you all, I hope there is some good news in 2009 for those that didn't get what they wished for in 2008.
Monday, 29 December 2008
Friday, 19 December 2008
Just adopt
Yesterday I had a meeting with a work colleague. This male colleague has been through the whole IVF process due to male factor. They had three IVF attempts of which one was successful, their son is now 5 1/2 years old.
After the meeting we got talking and the subject inevitably went to family and children. They have recently been accepted by the adoption panel and are now awaiting a match with a child. I started to tell him a bit more than I should have about where we are at the moment and where we are heading. I wasn't overly comfortable with sharing this information with him however, I wanted to get some information out of him as he lives in the same county as us and they were lucky enough to get two IVF attempts on the NHS. He gave me some good advice on where to go, if and when, we have to choose a clinic.
I told him that I had just had a procedure which we were hoping was going to improve our chances of conceiving naturally but, if not, we would be referred for assisted conception. That was when he gave the helpful advice. I then said that I wasn't sure whether we would get two attempts at IVF on the NHS but that we would definitely have two attempts and then we would walk away. His response was that if it didn't work then we could just adopt. He said that. Somebody who has been through this IF crap, who has been through IVF and has had to contend with it not working. I couldn't believe that this person had just said those words to me like it was OK that we may not be able to conceive our own child. I responded by telling him that adoption is not something that appeals to me, at this stage, but that it may be something that we would consider once we had been through the assisted conception stage. He said that we should consider adopting because there is nothing more rewarding, enjoyable and fun then having a little person in your life! Arsehole!
After the meeting we got talking and the subject inevitably went to family and children. They have recently been accepted by the adoption panel and are now awaiting a match with a child. I started to tell him a bit more than I should have about where we are at the moment and where we are heading. I wasn't overly comfortable with sharing this information with him however, I wanted to get some information out of him as he lives in the same county as us and they were lucky enough to get two IVF attempts on the NHS. He gave me some good advice on where to go, if and when, we have to choose a clinic.
I told him that I had just had a procedure which we were hoping was going to improve our chances of conceiving naturally but, if not, we would be referred for assisted conception. That was when he gave the helpful advice. I then said that I wasn't sure whether we would get two attempts at IVF on the NHS but that we would definitely have two attempts and then we would walk away. His response was that if it didn't work then we could just adopt. He said that. Somebody who has been through this IF crap, who has been through IVF and has had to contend with it not working. I couldn't believe that this person had just said those words to me like it was OK that we may not be able to conceive our own child. I responded by telling him that adoption is not something that appeals to me, at this stage, but that it may be something that we would consider once we had been through the assisted conception stage. He said that we should consider adopting because there is nothing more rewarding, enjoyable and fun then having a little person in your life! Arsehole!
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Half a pound
The WW visit wasn't as bad as anticipated - half a pound on is acceptable considering everything that I ate and drank last week. I now need to try not to eat too much over the next two weeks but, as Womb for Improvement says, I think I can afford to put on a couple of pounds over the festive period.
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Hard to swallow
When I returned to work after my laparoscopy I found out that there had been another pregnancy announcement. What lousy timing.
I am finding this latest announcement too hard to swallow.
I just can't seem to get it out of my head. The woman is such a lovely person and I am really pleased for her but I just can't bring myself to congratulate her. I think it is because it was a shock, totally unexpected. I didn't think that she wanted children and there were definitely no tell-tale signs.
It is now making the six months too hard to swallow.
I am finding it almost impossible to control my weight at the moment. December is such a difficult month, with all the tasty food in the supermarkets and the many different Christmas celebrations. I am trying so hard not to over eat and drink but I feel like I am slowly slipping back into my old habits. I have been to a Christmas party, a Christmas lunch, a friend's house for drinks and nibbles and tonight I am off to WW. It is not going to be good news. I won't mind putting on one pound but any more than that and I am going to be pissed off. I didn't go to WW last week as I had had the laparoscopy on the Tuesday.
I know that I am going to find tonight's visit to WW too hard to swallow.
I am finding this latest announcement too hard to swallow.
I just can't seem to get it out of my head. The woman is such a lovely person and I am really pleased for her but I just can't bring myself to congratulate her. I think it is because it was a shock, totally unexpected. I didn't think that she wanted children and there were definitely no tell-tale signs.
It is now making the six months too hard to swallow.
I am finding it almost impossible to control my weight at the moment. December is such a difficult month, with all the tasty food in the supermarkets and the many different Christmas celebrations. I am trying so hard not to over eat and drink but I feel like I am slowly slipping back into my old habits. I have been to a Christmas party, a Christmas lunch, a friend's house for drinks and nibbles and tonight I am off to WW. It is not going to be good news. I won't mind putting on one pound but any more than that and I am going to be pissed off. I didn't go to WW last week as I had had the laparoscopy on the Tuesday.
I know that I am going to find tonight's visit to WW too hard to swallow.
Monday, 15 December 2008
Tagged
I have been tagged by Emptyhug. I have never been tagged before so I am very excited!
The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you
3. Tag 7 random people at the end and include links to their blog!
7 random / weird facts about me:
1. From a very young age I had watched the London Marathon on television and had wanted to be a part of it. I fulfilled that dream in 2005, when I decided that to mark turning 30 I would apply to run in the marathon. My application was successful, my finishing time was 5:14.
2. I get bored easily.
3. I only moved in with my husband after we got married. The most time we had spent together as a couple before our wedding was when we went on holiday for a week.
4. I have two tattoos - one on the side of my stomach (flower) and one on my wrist (three stars).
5. I own a blue VW Beetle (I grew up with an obsession for beetles).
6. I'm a gold member of W.eight W.atchers. I have struggled with my weight since my teens.
7. I hate saving - any money I earn I spend. It drives the husband mad. I am currently trying to save some money just in case we need to pay for IVF (it's a slow process).
I have tagged Womb for Improvement and Reproductively Challenged (although Ms Heathen has a lot on so may prefer not to do the tag). I haven't tagged anybody else as I am not sure that they read this blog or haven't done the tag before. If you are reading this post and would like to do the tag, please do (and let me know).
The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you
3. Tag 7 random people at the end and include links to their blog!
7 random / weird facts about me:
1. From a very young age I had watched the London Marathon on television and had wanted to be a part of it. I fulfilled that dream in 2005, when I decided that to mark turning 30 I would apply to run in the marathon. My application was successful, my finishing time was 5:14.
2. I get bored easily.
3. I only moved in with my husband after we got married. The most time we had spent together as a couple before our wedding was when we went on holiday for a week.
4. I have two tattoos - one on the side of my stomach (flower) and one on my wrist (three stars).
5. I own a blue VW Beetle (I grew up with an obsession for beetles).
6. I'm a gold member of W.eight W.atchers. I have struggled with my weight since my teens.
7. I hate saving - any money I earn I spend. It drives the husband mad. I am currently trying to save some money just in case we need to pay for IVF (it's a slow process).
I have tagged Womb for Improvement and Reproductively Challenged (although Ms Heathen has a lot on so may prefer not to do the tag). I haven't tagged anybody else as I am not sure that they read this blog or haven't done the tag before. If you are reading this post and would like to do the tag, please do (and let me know).
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Laparoscopy
I had the laparoscopy on Tuesday. It was OK. I am sore and still slightly swollen but it is getting better. The worst part was the sore throat from where they had a tube down my throat and the pain in my shoulder from the gas.
The outcome.
I didn't have a blocked tube. It looks like I had a spasm when they did the HSG. Dye went through both of my tubes during the laparoscopy (saw the pictures to prove it!). They did remove some endometriosis and a small cyst from my right ovary.
What next?
We have six months of trying to conceive naturally and if we haven't succeeded by then it will be assisted conception.
How do I feel about that?
I was initially pissed off that we are going to have to wait six months before being referred for assisted conception. If IVF is the only route for us then we won't be placed on the NHS waiting list until June however, I am now thinking that having a break isn't a bad thing. It will do us good to not have to think about it for a while. I don't feel in a hurry at the moment but I'm sure that will change in a couple of months. I'm not really convinced that what they did during the laparoscopy will help us conceive naturally but it won't stop me hoping.
Another hurdle crossed. The next hurdle is easy, six months of lots of sex and hopefully a natural pregnancy, if not it is back to the consultant for the serious stuff.
The outcome.
I didn't have a blocked tube. It looks like I had a spasm when they did the HSG. Dye went through both of my tubes during the laparoscopy (saw the pictures to prove it!). They did remove some endometriosis and a small cyst from my right ovary.
What next?
We have six months of trying to conceive naturally and if we haven't succeeded by then it will be assisted conception.
How do I feel about that?
I was initially pissed off that we are going to have to wait six months before being referred for assisted conception. If IVF is the only route for us then we won't be placed on the NHS waiting list until June however, I am now thinking that having a break isn't a bad thing. It will do us good to not have to think about it for a while. I don't feel in a hurry at the moment but I'm sure that will change in a couple of months. I'm not really convinced that what they did during the laparoscopy will help us conceive naturally but it won't stop me hoping.
Another hurdle crossed. The next hurdle is easy, six months of lots of sex and hopefully a natural pregnancy, if not it is back to the consultant for the serious stuff.
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Christmas
Christmas is all about family, food and drink. Usually I love Christmas but, over the last two years I have struggled. Christmas makes my desire for a family even more intense, it reminds me of what we can't have and I am beginning to hate that it is just the two of us.
It will be our third Christmas since we started to try for a baby. Last Christmas I was depressed, I had piled on nearly two stone and Christmas was just a heavy reminder that another year had passed and still no baby. As December approached this year I found myself slipping into the same mood as last, it was starting to get to me and, to be honest with you, I was starting to dread Christmas again.
That is, until, our holiday, our break from everything. Suddenly I am loving Christmas. I have an advent calendar and an advent candle and decorations have slowly been making their way into our lounge.
Last night my Christmas mood was threatened slightly as I started to write our Christmas cards. I suddenly thought about the fact that many of our friends have additional names on their Christmas cards whilst I am still signing off from just the two of us. Why is it the small things when you are most unaware? I made a conscious decision that I was not going to let such a small insignificant thing totally strip me of my joyous Christmas mood.
I am happy and I am looking forward to Christmas.
It will be our third Christmas since we started to try for a baby. Last Christmas I was depressed, I had piled on nearly two stone and Christmas was just a heavy reminder that another year had passed and still no baby. As December approached this year I found myself slipping into the same mood as last, it was starting to get to me and, to be honest with you, I was starting to dread Christmas again.
That is, until, our holiday, our break from everything. Suddenly I am loving Christmas. I have an advent calendar and an advent candle and decorations have slowly been making their way into our lounge.
Last night my Christmas mood was threatened slightly as I started to write our Christmas cards. I suddenly thought about the fact that many of our friends have additional names on their Christmas cards whilst I am still signing off from just the two of us. Why is it the small things when you are most unaware? I made a conscious decision that I was not going to let such a small insignificant thing totally strip me of my joyous Christmas mood.
I am happy and I am looking forward to Christmas.
Monday, 1 December 2008
Refreshed
The husband and I have just returned from a much needed break. We were very nearly at the point of melt down but now we are much more relaxed and are smiling again. Spending quality time together was just what we needed.
The next IF hurdle is the laparoscopy which was orignally scheduled for January but has now been brought forward to next week! I'm off to the hospital on Friday for my pre-assessment. I'm really pleased to be getting it out of the way before Christmas. Fingers crossed everything runs smoothly and they are able to deal with whatever is going on in there.
The next IF hurdle is the laparoscopy which was orignally scheduled for January but has now been brought forward to next week! I'm off to the hospital on Friday for my pre-assessment. I'm really pleased to be getting it out of the way before Christmas. Fingers crossed everything runs smoothly and they are able to deal with whatever is going on in there.
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