*UPDATED* This is not a look back at 2009 although I do mention Christmas and New Year but that's as far as it goes

*UPDATED to include the all important no.7, how could I forget about that?!*

So that was Christmas. Now it's back to reality.

It's weird because I never realised just how much I was looking forward to Christmas. When I received the letter from the clinic I was so eager for it to be 2010. I thought Christmas was just a distraction but, it was more than that, it became an escape from it all.

I discovered this after everybody had left last Monday. We were so looking forward to having some time together, just the two of us, but the time between Christmas and New Year wasn't at all what I we thought it would be. We were both suffering from post-Christmas blues as we began to think about our situation, what we would be experiencing in 2010, fearful to hope but needing it to help us out of the depression that was slowly beginning to engulf us.

One thing that depressed me throughout December was the amount of weight that I was putting on. I am disgusted with myself, nearly all of my clothes no longer fit me! So, as of today, I am back on the wagon. I'm back at WW on Wednesday to find out the true damage of Christmas 2009. Wednesday is going to be a bad day. I am going to be in a foul mood no matter what. Still, at least I have the incentive of the appointment to get me back on track, I have not come this far just to pile the weight back on even before I have started treatment.


OK, enough of the moaning, below is a list of things that I need to do or organise this month in preparation for next:

1. Lose as much weight as possible! I'm on with this as of today.

2. Get my hair coloured. Just in case...

3. Look into acupuncture. Hopefully this will help.

4. Stop drinking. I'm on with this as of today, or as of 9pm last night when I finished my last glass of wine. This is going to be one of the hardest things to give up.

5. Start exercising. We've been going on lots of walks but I need to start doing some other form of activity not only to make me feel better but to accelerate the weight loss.

6. Folic Acid. I have been taking this (on and off) for over three years now but will make sure that I take it every day without fail from now on!

7. Ensure that downstairs is presentable (don't want to give the doctor unnecessary work!) Need to get the scissors out and book the waxing session.


So that is my list of things (so far) that I need to do in preparation for IVF. If any body has any tips or advice please feel free to leave them in the comments.

The husband is off to the clinic on Wednesday to provide a sample. To say he is not looking forward to it is an understatement but, then again, I'm not sure that I would look forward to a session with my right hand in a room in a hospital!


Oh, and before I forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Different strokes

After our wedding in November 2000 we came to an agreement that we would alternate Christmas Day between the two families. We kicked off with the in-laws which, although bearable, became a little stressful by the end of the week. I was living in a new county, out of work and a little depressed. Christmas Day rolled into Boxing Day and the next day until eventually we declined the offer to return for any more festive meals.

That first Christmas was an eye opener as it was completely different to the ones that I had experienced for the past 26 years. Christmas at the in-laws means no telly (not even for the Queen's speech), presents not being opened until the evening (when we are all sat in the living room trying to think of things to talk about), drinking alcohol under disapproving looks from the tee-total MIL and, each chocolate eaten being noted (and commented on). Needless to say, it was a long day.

Christmas with my family is completely different. From the atmosphere to the routine, everything just feels so much more relaxed. We get up, we open presents (shock, horror, still in our pyjamas), we eat chocolate biscuits for breakfast, we have our first alcoholic drink at twelve, we eat lunch, we all gather round the telly for the Queen's speech, we drink, we eat, we entertain ourselves, some in the kitchen, others in the lounge and some in the garden smoking.

Two families, two very different Christmas day routines.


This year Christmas Day is to be spent with my family who are all arriving on Christmas Eve and not leaving until the Monday which means that we will not see the in-laws over the Christmas weekend. To soften the blow with the in-laws we arranged a pre-Christmas dinner for the weekend before which, for a Strictly Come Dancing fan, was very bad timing.

Round one of Christmas has been completed, we now only have to contend with the chaos of 4 couples, two teenagers, a cat and a jack russell!

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year

A belated Merry Christmas. Hope you are all having a good break.

Things were hectic here in the build up to Christmas (and still are) as I have a piece of work which needs to be completed by 31 December. I'm supposed to be working on it today but it is already 11.30am and I'm not dressed and haven't even opened the relevant file on my computer. As always I have left things to the last minute but I am relatively confident that it will be in the post by tomorrow afternoon (fingers crossed).

Happy New Year to you all, I hope there is some good news in 2009 for those that didn't get what they wished for in 2008.

Christmas

Christmas is all about family, food and drink. Usually I love Christmas but, over the last two years I have struggled. Christmas makes my desire for a family even more intense, it reminds me of what we can't have and I am beginning to hate that it is just the two of us.

It will be our third Christmas since we started to try for a baby. Last Christmas I was depressed, I had piled on nearly two stone and Christmas was just a heavy reminder that another year had passed and still no baby. As December approached this year I found myself slipping into the same mood as last, it was starting to get to me and, to be honest with you, I was starting to dread Christmas again.

That is, until, our holiday, our break from everything. Suddenly I am loving Christmas. I have an advent calendar and an advent candle and decorations have slowly been making their way into our lounge.

Last night my Christmas mood was threatened slightly as I started to write our Christmas cards. I suddenly thought about the fact that many of our friends have additional names on their Christmas cards whilst I am still signing off from just the two of us. Why is it the small things when you are most unaware? I made a conscious decision that I was not going to let such a small insignificant thing totally strip me of my joyous Christmas mood.

I am happy and I am looking forward to Christmas.