A long week

It has been just over a week since I started the injections. It feels a lot longer. It is amazing how quickly you fall into a routine, how something that you have been dreading suddenly feels like the norm. So far I haven't had any side effects, I also haven't had my period. I'd read that this can happen so it is no real surprise however, I am surprised at how quickly I have started to have thoughts of a possible pregnancy. A delayed period, surely I couldn't be pregnant, after all this time. Unlikely but not impossible. Even the doctor told us to keep trying this month, that some people do conceive naturally just before starting IVF. Could we be one of the lucky ones? I've even been thinking about POAS. I can't even remember the last time I POAS.

Of course I haven't gone as far as POAS and I am sure that my period will arrive before I get round to doing it but, in a weird way it has felt quite good to feel such hope, to remember what ttc felt like at the start. In looking back at what it was like in the beginning it has also made me revisit the sadness, despair and depression that I went through. It is only now that I realise just how low I got. Infertility has definitely changed me, I view life differently now. I worry far more about death, I find it hard to connect with my friends who have families and it still feels like we have a large hole in our lives but, I have learned to appreciate life a lot more.

I have come so far through this experience and if nothing else, this week has taught me that whatever happens over the next few weeks, there is no way I want to go back to being that sad, depressed person.

Crikey!

Less than 24 hours to go until our next hospital appointment.

It has been a very LOOOOOONG wait!

And, just in case I didn't think the hospital appointment was stressful enough, my period has decided to come along for the ride.

Note to self, don't cry in front of Dr Sugar as he will think that you are an over sensitive, over emotional woman who needs counselling!!

Bits and bobs

Two things that I am trying to focus:

Weight - over Christmas I put on 5lbs. So far I have lost 4 of that 5lbs but I am finding it so difficult. Once I have lost that 5lbs I only have have another 8lbs to go to get to goal. The last 8lbs are going to be tough.

House - as mentioned here, we have made the difficult decision to rent our house out and move into tied accommodation. It has taken us a while to get our heads around it but we both think that we have made the right decision. It has given us something else to focus on and look forward to. We have been spending some time at the new house, painting and tidying and I have ordered a fantastic range cooker for the new kitchen. We will not move in to the new house until we have found tenants for our house so fingers crossed we get some interest.

Three things that I am trying not to focus on:

1. As far as I am aware, I didn't ovulate last month.
2. I am currently on CD11 and I am still spotting! Never had that before.
3. One month down.......only four more months until our next hospital appointment which I am dreading but, I am also keen/impatient for it to be here as I am desperate to find out where we go from here - IUI? IVF? Who knows.